Cultivating Virtues That Lift Our Eyes to Others

"Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity." - Simone Weil

The month of December is a precious time for many reasons. Not only does it hold the magic of the holiday season and provide us a time to slow down and take in the blessings of family, friends, and life, but this season also allows us the opportunity to look out into the world to see and attend to the needs of others.   

The virtues that we typically emphasize this month are intentionally “others” focused. Generosity, charity, service, and hospitality do not come naturally to human beings. Our human condition is one of selfishness. We have an inherent love of ourselves, and thus, we tend to be the best navel-gazers. In Jane Austen’s Mansfield Park, Miss Crawford compels Fanny Price to forgive her for her selfishness, imploring, “Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, because there is no hope of a cure.” While this is true, that there is no cure for the innate ability we have to think of ourselves and our benefits first, we can learn to lift our eyes from our own navels to see others and seek their good before our own. In fact, this ability and practice is within the very fabric of our Western tradition. The Ancient Greeks saw hospitality, or philoxenia, “love of the stranger,” as a duty. Service, charity, and generosity have been taught as virtues from the Judeo-Christian faith for millennia. Because we have the potential to develop these virtues even if they are not natural to us, we must dedicate ourselves to teaching the youngest among us the value and importance of putting others before ourselves.  
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How can we encourage our students to turn their thoughts from themselves toward others? Children do not have much in the way of material or monetary goods to give. So, what are they able to provide? One thing they can give is their undivided and intentional attention.

In a culture that vies for our focus, affection, money, time, and energy, the ability to attend to something or someone intently is all but lost. We care only for what is fun, fast, and easy, and so readily forget that the most valuable things to learn or appreciate take time, concentration, and effort. Because of this, when someone provides true, uninterrupted attention to another person, it is a powerful and meaningful show of respect, kindness, and even love. It is generous for our students to provide their attention to someone, and thus we must encourage this whenever possible. We can practice this in the classroom by turning to look at the person speaking, having still, quiet bodies and mouths, and providing intentional feedback to his or her thoughts. As teachers, we must set this as an expectation for our students and follow through on holding them accountable to do so. The more it is done during in-class discussions, the more it will become a habit, and soon, our students will willingly and easily provide their undivided attention to whomever they are talking. And in a world of selfish, inconsiderate people, this consideration for others will be a blessing. What a gift to provide our students and those whom they will meet and influence throughout their lives!